giving

my last two posts got me thinking about the question, what do i give to a person in a relationship? what does a person receive when they spend time with me? what do i have to give? what is something that i possess that i can give to another person?

i don't assume to have the answer to these questions. but i have some thoughts. i think community, a circle of support, is formed when people want the best for the other people. when one person wants the best for another person and the desire is reciprocated, a bond is formed.

so what does this look like? what language describes this thought? in order to want the best for another person, it is required that their needs are more important than mine. does that mean that i sacrifice myself so that another person is better off? a sacrificial lifestyle doesn't sound appealing to me. could that be what it is all about though?

if we need friends, and the way to form a bond is to regard another person as more important that ones self, and live that way, what is said about the person who is offering the sacrifice? whats in it for them? maybe nothing, maybe something, maybe they do it because someone else made a sacrifice for them once, and they want to pass the gift on...

so what does this look like? i am going to try to know these new acquaintences of mine. i am going to try to get to know their needs, know where their life isn't working right and if i have something to give, i am going to do my best to give it. i am afraid that i will have nothing to give, but i have got to give it a shot.

the other side of the coin is to allow my new little community to know me. will they have something to give me? i don't know. what do they have to give? after all, they don't have homes, they live under a bridge, what can they possibly give me?

this saturday is the first big step in this community experiment. i am going to serve lunch to a few folks and see if a bond forms. of course i have no control over what they decide to do, but my hope is that something happens.