i had a chance to sit down with nancy last thursday. actually, i sat and she stood up, nancy cuts my hair. i go to see nancy about every other month, and for an hour we share our lives with each other. i look forward to our conversations because nancy is my friend. nancy also has a better understanding of style than anyone else i know, and that is why i trust her with the all important haircut. my vanity and high maintenance lifestyle become abundantly clear to me every time i go see nancy. last week nancy and i talked about giving with wisdom.
a good friend of mine commented on an earlier post by giving a quote from gordon cosby, "The most helpful experiments are accomplished by people who are too naive to know what they are getting into. The wise and experienced know too much to ever accomplish the impossible." I don't know the full context of cosby's comment, but it got me thinking about wisdom in giving. nancy told me a story about how a man approached her and her grandmother and manipulated them in to giving some money. the man got the money, and nancy got to give to the poor. sounds good, right?
weeeeeeelllllllll, i don't know. i feel a little uneasy if i give it the ok stamp. similar to a feeling i had when another friend asked me if it was ever ok to lie, and gave the situation of hiding jews during the holocaust and being questioned by german soldiers on the hunt.
the uneasy feeling comes from using a lie, or manipulation or whatever you want to call it, in order for a person to get what they want. a homeless person wants food, and a scared german wants to protect their jewish friend. the result is good but the methodology is broken. business books classify a productive member of a company as one who produces good results, methodology is secondary. i want friends, and i want to feed homeless people.
i am going to go out on a limb here and make a few statements that may be wrong, and that i have not done the work to fully prove, so if you disagree or find a flaw, feel free to comment:
lying creates results that naivete is not able to see. when a person lies, not only do they have to somehow make the lie look like reality (which isn't reality at all, and thus requires that the liar lives somewhere other than reality, even if for a moment), but, depending on your belief system, they have done something wrong. to move on in reality, the lie has to be reconciled, or else the liar lives in a warped reality.
truth creates one result. it is clean, there is nothing unaccounted for, everything reconciles, and the story is simple because it is the truth and the truth is simpler than a lie; truth exists in reality, a lie does not. it is easier to talk about reality than it is to talk about something contrived. truth creates one result that has several names but i will call it beautiful. naivete can be defined as artless simplicity. a naive person can talk about how they feed a hungry person, but a truthful person can tell you why it is beautiful. truth allows a person to give freely and receive freely. truth knows that it takes courage to do something with real consequences. truth knows that it has something to fear, that there is a real enemy.
the path to knowing and applying truth is wisdom, and the beginning of wisdom....is what we are all searching for.
patrick did free lunch this weekend because i got to see my best friend get married on the beach in florida. i had a few feelings as i was listening to patrick tell me the stories from the weekend...by the way, patrick has the award for the most hilarious free lunch weekend, and you will have to ask him about it because he tells it best...i felt pleased that free lunch was happening in my absence because this is a step in the vision of creating a model that others can repeat. i felt loss that things are not the same as they used to be. i am following this vision that was given to me, and trying to stay true to my role in the story, and i know my role will change with time. i will miss out on certain things because i am required to fulfill another responsibility. i felt proud of patrick because he added something that i could not add. patrick is really good at striking up conversation and making people feel comfortable. patrick is clear about his purpose too, he likes the idea of feeding hungry people, and free lunch serves as a conduit for his purpose which is much bigger and of more consequence than merely feeding people...
i have opened up a number of different subjects in this post and i am trying to figure out how to tie them neatly together and come to some conclusions so all this reading amounts to something. but i am afraid i don't have many conclusions, and i don't even know the question that allows me to find the next step. maybe i opened up more than i can handle to write about...i have a tendency to do that sometimes...
if someone tells a lie in order to get a lunch, they might come to expect that they have to lie to get anything from me or anyone else. a lie does nothing to build a relationship, it only destroys. i want to build a relationship with the people i meet, and wisdom would tell me that i should not allow a person to lie to me in order to get a meal, even if i intend on giving them one. how do i do this? how do i recognize a lie? how do i reconcile a lie in a relationship? how do i move on? how do i offer truth? how do i guard against lies? how do i build a relationship with someone who has possibly never experienced a truthful relationship? what is my responsibility?
i have more questions than answers, but i know a few things. it is beautiful to see a vision come in to reality, it is beautiful to see desires fulfilled, wisom gives sight to see things that are beautiful and i have only seen the tip of the iceburg.
if you know some way to finish this post, please comment. and if you find yourself at the end of this post feeling as if you didn't get to the end (which is how i feel right now), read the comments. i am friends with some good writers.
help!
24 October, 2006
back to the purpose
i had lunch with kevin today and i was telling him about free lunch. he stated the purpose back to me in such a way that i had to write it down. the purpose of free lunch is not to feed people who don't have food or community, it is to eat with people who don't have food or community.
sometimes when ideas are shared, people respond by pointing out all the hurdles, and complications and reasons why it won't work...as if anyone who is trying something new needs more to overcome...good intentions often times just need help steering and seeing. i have been so thankful for everyone who has cared to share their opinion because you have added new insight, new understanding, new wisdom, new language to free lunch.
it is easy to become self absorbed and choose to look at what i don't have, but when the people around me have helped build free lunch by whatever they have to add, it makes it easy to see what i do have, and what i have to give. and those are some sweet shades to be wearing when the sun is rising over a new horizon.
sometimes when ideas are shared, people respond by pointing out all the hurdles, and complications and reasons why it won't work...as if anyone who is trying something new needs more to overcome...good intentions often times just need help steering and seeing. i have been so thankful for everyone who has cared to share their opinion because you have added new insight, new understanding, new wisdom, new language to free lunch.
it is easy to become self absorbed and choose to look at what i don't have, but when the people around me have helped build free lunch by whatever they have to add, it makes it easy to see what i do have, and what i have to give. and those are some sweet shades to be wearing when the sun is rising over a new horizon.
22 October, 2006
development on the business side
i recently had a conversation with a guy who goes to third world countries with his company and builds metal buildings that serve for different purposes in their communities. he told me about a charitable foundation that helps start up organizations get established as 501(c)3 non profit companies. they have a lawyer on hand that will help get the company started, and the even issue grants to some of the start ups.
this was a very cool conversation and i will tell you why. i have started asking a few people if they would consider working for this company if it were formed, but i don't have the necessary resources right now to pull it all together. so to find an organization that is geared toward helping start ups get established takes a large burden off my back to do research and find out how to file the correct paperwork and make a legitimate business that people can donate to and work for.
i have had several people offer to donate money, in fact, someone gave me money that i didn't tell about it. they had heard about it through another person i told, and just wrote me a check. that is really amazing for a couple reasons, but the one that blows me out of the water is that i didn't have to do anything. by word of mouth, one person told another person and that compelled them to write me a check. i didn't have to do any fundraising, money is just coming in the door. another person gave me a large amount of food they had left uncooked from a bbq. i am not asking for it, and it is just happening.
this comes back to the need for a business entity to house this project. i need to have someone who will be responsible for keeping track of the funds and food that are coming in. i want to be able to give people a tax deduction, but i don't have the time to keep track of it all.
so now i need help. i didn't quite expect this to be happening quite yet, so this is a good surprise.
this was a very cool conversation and i will tell you why. i have started asking a few people if they would consider working for this company if it were formed, but i don't have the necessary resources right now to pull it all together. so to find an organization that is geared toward helping start ups get established takes a large burden off my back to do research and find out how to file the correct paperwork and make a legitimate business that people can donate to and work for.
i have had several people offer to donate money, in fact, someone gave me money that i didn't tell about it. they had heard about it through another person i told, and just wrote me a check. that is really amazing for a couple reasons, but the one that blows me out of the water is that i didn't have to do anything. by word of mouth, one person told another person and that compelled them to write me a check. i didn't have to do any fundraising, money is just coming in the door. another person gave me a large amount of food they had left uncooked from a bbq. i am not asking for it, and it is just happening.
this comes back to the need for a business entity to house this project. i need to have someone who will be responsible for keeping track of the funds and food that are coming in. i want to be able to give people a tax deduction, but i don't have the time to keep track of it all.
so now i need help. i didn't quite expect this to be happening quite yet, so this is a good surprise.
thanks!!!!
i just want to say thank you to everyone who has taken some time to look at this blog and read it in the past week. i have just gone public with all of this by sharing this website with the people i come in contact with, and i appreciate the feedback and encouragement you all have given me. it has been another fulfillment (one that i didn't expect), from this effort. your encouragement and feedback tells me you care enough to take the time to read, and then share your thoughts. thats the kind of community i am talking about. thats the kind of community i want to have. the kind of community that shares a desire to do something, anything, and cares enough to make that thing good.
thank you all, i will keep sharing my thoughts as this develops...and i appreciate your encouragement along the way.
thank you all, i will keep sharing my thoughts as this develops...and i appreciate your encouragement along the way.
20 October, 2006
selling out
as you can see, i have decided to subscribe to adsense today. maybe one of these days this website will be viewed by more than 10 folks, and google will spill some of it $750,000,000 quarterly profit (thats right, seven hundred and fifty million quartlerly PROFIT), over to this little effort.
happy clicking!
happy clicking!
14 October, 2006
third lunch
today was the third lunch. the newness of this is wearing off, and a routine is setting in. a typical day goes like this:
10:30 - head to the store to get groceries (i have become quite the bargain shopper)
11:15 - get back to the house and make lunches
12:15 - drive downtown
1:45 - all done
i usually go to the 23rd street bridge (formerly known as the courtyard), and look for the people i know down there, then i make my way towards downtown, stopping under bridges and through allys to find people hanging out (this is my favorite part, because sometimes i offer lunches to people who probably aren't homeless, and that makes me laugh, sometimes they are offended...), and then i head up to the east side and when i get out of the car, it takes no time to get rid of everything.
there are a few things that were pretty cool about this week. the routine is getting predictable, and it is easier to tell the person i am with how to do it and what to expect. i have taken a new person with me each time to talk with them about what i am doing, get their feedback, get some time to hang out with them and get to know them, and so they can tell other people about free lunch. it is always easier for me to get to know someone if we are working together to get something done. community happens in the margins (making lunches, going to the store, driving around, etc.), and that is the whole purpose of this, to develop community.
i run in to a few of the same people every week, i got to see chris again this week, a guy i met last week. chris always has a lot to tell me about the people who are chasing him down and how he has to protect himself because he has enemies, and you never know when they might come after you. i don't know exactly what is going on with chris, but i am glad i have run in to him a couple of times.
a few folks up on the east side recognized me when i pulled up, and that is always nice to be welcomed back. they usually take their lunch and run, so i don't really know any of them yet. i hope that i become a familiar face and be able to hang out for a while.
the familiarity of the routine is something i look forward to. it's like any regular routine, i take care of business and try to find the things in the routine that have meaning. i ask myself, what is important about this? there are a few things that are necessary to make it happen, but what is the essence of this routine? what should i really care about? i don't know the answers, but the search is great.
10:30 - head to the store to get groceries (i have become quite the bargain shopper)
11:15 - get back to the house and make lunches
12:15 - drive downtown
1:45 - all done
i usually go to the 23rd street bridge (formerly known as the courtyard), and look for the people i know down there, then i make my way towards downtown, stopping under bridges and through allys to find people hanging out (this is my favorite part, because sometimes i offer lunches to people who probably aren't homeless, and that makes me laugh, sometimes they are offended...), and then i head up to the east side and when i get out of the car, it takes no time to get rid of everything.
there are a few things that were pretty cool about this week. the routine is getting predictable, and it is easier to tell the person i am with how to do it and what to expect. i have taken a new person with me each time to talk with them about what i am doing, get their feedback, get some time to hang out with them and get to know them, and so they can tell other people about free lunch. it is always easier for me to get to know someone if we are working together to get something done. community happens in the margins (making lunches, going to the store, driving around, etc.), and that is the whole purpose of this, to develop community.
i run in to a few of the same people every week, i got to see chris again this week, a guy i met last week. chris always has a lot to tell me about the people who are chasing him down and how he has to protect himself because he has enemies, and you never know when they might come after you. i don't know exactly what is going on with chris, but i am glad i have run in to him a couple of times.
a few folks up on the east side recognized me when i pulled up, and that is always nice to be welcomed back. they usually take their lunch and run, so i don't really know any of them yet. i hope that i become a familiar face and be able to hang out for a while.
the familiarity of the routine is something i look forward to. it's like any regular routine, i take care of business and try to find the things in the routine that have meaning. i ask myself, what is important about this? there are a few things that are necessary to make it happen, but what is the essence of this routine? what should i really care about? i don't know the answers, but the search is great.
11 October, 2006
a few questions
a few questions have surfaced in the last few weeks, here are my thoughts...
why not just give to an organization that is already doing this?
there is not an organization with the same vision. the vision is community, and realizing that we are all cut from the same cloth. we are all people. everyone needs lunch and everyone needs a friend. the main purpose is NOT to feed the hungry. it is to be in community with the hungry. in a community, there is expectation from both sides. a relationship is not a one way street. i am buying these relationships by bringing food, and it may be one sided for a while, but i expect to care about these people i meet and to be cared for as well. that's right, they have something to offer, they have just rarely been asked, so they may not know it.
is this going to be organized in to a non-profit company?
yes. lots of work to do here, i am looking for a person to run the administrative side of this.
why?
to build a model for community. i will keep this as simple as possible so that others can repeat what i am doing easily. i can only influence a handful of people, but if i build something that others can duplicate, then my efforts can be multiplied.
why not just give to an organization that is already doing this?
there is not an organization with the same vision. the vision is community, and realizing that we are all cut from the same cloth. we are all people. everyone needs lunch and everyone needs a friend. the main purpose is NOT to feed the hungry. it is to be in community with the hungry. in a community, there is expectation from both sides. a relationship is not a one way street. i am buying these relationships by bringing food, and it may be one sided for a while, but i expect to care about these people i meet and to be cared for as well. that's right, they have something to offer, they have just rarely been asked, so they may not know it.
is this going to be organized in to a non-profit company?
yes. lots of work to do here, i am looking for a person to run the administrative side of this.
why?
to build a model for community. i will keep this as simple as possible so that others can repeat what i am doing easily. i can only influence a handful of people, but if i build something that others can duplicate, then my efforts can be multiplied.
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